The phone rang a little after five. Kelly put down her book and answered it when she saw Kaitlan’s number on the caller ID.
“Mom called me,” Kaitlan said after a brief hello. “She was really mad at you.”
“She called you? When?” Kelly hadn’t thought Susan even had Kaitlan’s cell phone number.
“Yesterday. She was really messed up, I think.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. That had to be hard.” Kelly sent a mental curse at her sister.
“It’s ok. Did something happen, because she was royally pissed.” Kaitlan sounded concerned. “She said you stranded her.”
“She called me Monday and I picked her up. She had drugs on her so I told her to get out of the car. I’m sorry she’s pissed, but I’m not going to be a taxi for her when she’s using.” Kelly got up and walked toward the kitchen, intending to pour a glass of wine. “I wonder what prompted her to call you.”
“I don’t know. She was being weird. I just thought you should know she did.”
“Thank you, dear. Are things ok otherwise?”
“Yeah, I’m really liking it here. But I miss ya’ll.” Kaitlan called to someone. “I gotta go, we’re heading to dinner.”
“Love you, sweetheart.” Kelly reached for a wine glass after putting the phone down. The book she had bought was interesting, but it was making her uncomfortable and a glass of wine sounded good. Just one, maybe another with dinner. She wouldn’t drink at Michelle any more, she had promised herself that.
“You saw Susan?” Michelle’s voice was hard.
Crap. Slowly, Kelly turned to face her partner. “On Monday. She was in a bind.”
“She’s always in a bind when she calls you. Jesus, Kelly, when are you going to stop bailing her out?”
Kelly concentrated on pouring her wine. “She would have gotten arrested if I hadn’t picked her up.”
Michelle moved into the kitchen, placing herself in Kelly’s line of sight. “Good. Getting arrested is what she needs. Especially if she’s using.”
“I don’t really want to talk about it, Michelle.”
“You don’t want to talk about anything lately. I might as well not even be here.” Michelle crossed her arms and glared.
“Well I definitely don’t want to talk about Susan,” Kelly replied. “Especially if you’re in a mood.”
Michelle snorted. “If I’m in a mood? You’ve been in a mood for weeks.”
“Michelle, please. I don’t want to fight.” Kelly took a long drink of her wine. The tart fruitiness was a welcome diversion to her unpleasant thoughts.
“Well, at least if we’re fighting you’re talking to me. Otherwise I can’t drag two words out of you.”
Kelly ground her teeth for a moment. “I tried talking to you. You blew up.”
“Do you even love me anymore? Or am I just a paycheck.” Michelle moved to block her way as Kelly started toward the living room.
Stung, Kelly stopped and stared at her. “How can you ask that? You’re the one who doesn’t want me to work full time. Of course I still love you!” Do you? Do you really?
“You have a funny way of showing it, then.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been in a funk lately,” Kelly said quietly. “Kaitlan’s leaving really hit me hard.”
“Yeah, you don’t get to play Supermom anymore. Poor, poor Kelly.” Michelle yanked a beer out of the refrigerator and opened it. “What about being a wife for a change?”
“I want to be Kelly for a change,” Kelly replied angrily. “What’s wrong with that?”
Michelle rolled her eyes. “You don’t even know who Kelly is,” she retorted. “Am I supposed to just sit here while you go find out?”
Kelly blinked away unexpected tears at the venom in Michelle’s voice. “I’d think you’d be happy that I want to get to know myself.”
“You want to know who you are? You’re my wife, that’s who. And you should be glad for it; you’d never make it on your own. You’d end up like Susan, drunk all the time and just looking for someone to take care of her.”
“I am not like Susan,” Kelly screamed, finally overwhelmed by the emotions rushing through her. “I am not an addict, I function just fine!”
“Maybe you aren’t,” Michelle responded. “But it wouldn’t take much to put you there. You should be glad there’s someone around to keep you functioning.”
Kelly’s mouth moved silently for a couple of seconds. Finally, she shot out words she thought she’d never say to Michelle. “Fuck you.”
“Fuck yourself,” Michelle said with a sneer. “Let me know how you like it.” She turned and walked away, leaving Kelly quivering with anger.
How could Michelle look at her the way she seemed to? Did her feelings mean so little that Michelle thought she could say such cruel things and then just walk off? Kelly finished her wine and started for the bottle, drawing up as she neared the counter.
Another glass would simply be drinking to spite Michelle. There was no point to it. Michelle didn’t think she could survive on her own? She may not think Kelly was an addict, but she had made it clear she noticed how much Kelly drank. Kelly would simply stop drinking. Maybe that would show Michelle that she could stand on her own two feet. Maybe then Michelle would treat her with something other than irritation.
Maybe then the thought of being so like Susan wouldn’t be so painful.
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